Emotion is what holds us back from true love?

Years ago someone asked me this on Squidoo. Since that platform no longer exists and I think the exchange may help some people, I’m reposting this here:

Emotion is what holds us back from true love?

True love is emotionless?

I get all mushy texting with a man who isn’t my current partner. Is it true love?

I said:

No, I don’t think true love is emotionless. I think the emotion transforms as the relationship matures, from infatuation to something more durable and deep. But that takes work on both sides. If you let your relationship slide, the emotion and love will disappear. Finding comfort with another man is one way to avoid facing up to the realities of your current relationship. Even if you are just texting him.

The emotional intensity is going to the wrong man – and that takes away from your present relationship. Getting infatuated with someone other than your partner is really not that hard. But if you feed that, you put your steady partner at second place. And there’s no way of knowing till you live together whether the ‘new man’ really is ‘better’.

The reader answered:

Yes I get that……. I don’t think I want to have a relationship with this man. Its such a strange emotion, one I have no experience of, my mind puts the emotion down to physical stuff but I know this is not true as that would not even measure up to how I feel.

Me and my partner are now ending our relationship due to the fact that we know we are no longer growing and in love, so sad.

The journey inward takes courage and alot of honesty. Thankyou x