the truth will set me free

Thanks Katinka for making me clear my mind about so many subjects on your blog !

Another insightful post from All Considered. Definitely check this blog out….

I think your example of having overcome sin and adversity is likely to be inspiring, and not likely to make them go the wrong path. It is more likely to prevent them from following in your footsteps (though there are no guarantees, obviously).

So I certainly DO NOT THINK you should shrink from telling them the truth. They are not mentally disabled or anything of the kind, are they?

But do tell your story in a way that they can understand.

I would certainly not advertise keeping people in the dark who can handle more truth than they have at present. That’s as ignorant as trying to force people to see truths they aren’t ready for. I’m not one of those who thinks people will ‘find out for themselves’.

In general we are not clairvoyant to that extent. Humans learn from each other – that’s how we tick. Communication is very important in relationships – and with the world as complicated as it is, kids should learn that skill in their parents house. You are giving the right example in that sense as well.

I think perhaps this subject has something to do with respecting that my version of the truth is only my version of it. It may have more in common with those around me than my grandmother’s version, but it is still only my own perspective. And it’s just not important enough to force on others. That would be arrogant and unkind of me.

In my grandmother’s case I only remind her that her husband has died (for instance) when she wonders out loud where he is. That very wondering in her is the opening that shows that she’s ready for that bit of truth at that point in time. For her, like for your mother, it’s more important to be emotionally calm than it is to hear our version of reality.

There just isn’t room in her head for everything I might tell her. Who am I to fight with nature?

I think we humans do the best we know how. There is no way that there is going to be perfect truth in this world by every single person. As someone whose mother is delusional from schizophrenia, I know first hand that it is pointless to be rational with someone whose “truth” involves nurses who “don’t know how to spell”, whose arms have been “broken” in her mind (but not in reality) for the past 5 years, and has told me several times that she has “died.” Trying to be logical and telling her that people are in fact NOT illiterate, that her arms are just fine, and that she never died does nothing but infuriate her. And this often results in her screaming at me in frustration. In this case the truth, MY truth, just makes things worse for her.

I could go into how truth is sometimes relative, and not a black and white issue, and how we all have different “truths” in our minds anyway. But then I’d be making this into a bigger deal than I feel it’s worth. The way I see it, we will never know complete “truth” until we go back home to source anyway.

(When it comes down to it, isn’t life itself supposed to be a dream?)

What is problematic is that almost all of them believe that they are doing just that no matter how much they lie. They tell themselves, “It’s business”, “They might think negatively about me”, “Telling my spouse about my infidelity would only hurt him/her”, etc. No matter what it is, there’s a way to “justify” it to themselves. One of the reasons that there is so little truth in this world is because this type of thinking is not only not discouraged, but encouraged – even by those who should know better. They leave the door open to allow for their own transgressions. You might want to ask yourself how the following fits into your motivation: “So I can in fact tell her anything that will calm her down and shut her up. Sometimes that means lying.”

Do you ever wonder why so few truly value and respect Truth. Do you ever wonder why so few realize Truth?